Setting Healthy Boundaries

Learning about boundaries is complicated for many survivors. We often don’t want people to be angry at us, but we’re not comfortable with very many people touching us. However we were usually not taught about boundaries as children and it’s harder to learn how to use them as adults. We need to know that we have a right to limit who touches us, and how; we need to be assured that our bodies should be respected.

You can help start a conversation about this by lightly saying things like “It’s great that kids now are being taught that they don’t have to be hugged if they don’t want to be.” Or you can say that you’re learning how to set boundaries by tactfully and clearly communicating your own wishes. “I’ve found that it’s OK to tell Uncle Joe that I’m not a hugger, and then change the subject and ask him how he’s been.” There’s lots more information online about boundaries, especially during holiday gatherings.

Not every touch is welcomed.
Photo by Kevin Jansen on Unsplash.com