Survivors very often struggle with memories, but our memories are not our enemies. They can actually help us move toward wholeness but no one can do that work for us. Please remind yourself, often, that processing memories is an individual task.

-Don’t ask us for details. (If you’re really curious, ask yourself why you need to know this.)

-Don’t say, if the memory was repressed for years, “Well, why are you just now remembering this?”

-Don’t ask us, “Are you sure?”

-Don’t say, “Sorry it happened, but now you just have to put it behind you and move on.”

You can’t process the memories for us, but you can encourage us to work on processing the memories slowly and gently, with a compassionate professional if possible.

And you don’t need all the details of our memories, but there are important things that you should be sure of:
               a) an adult did bad things to us when we were children;
               b) it will take time and effort for us to recover from that;
               c) God is eager for us and all others to live in truth and freedom; and
               d) you are willing to walk the slow journey to wholeness with us.

If you are not sure of these four things, please go to God in prayer.

Photo by Abel Marquez on Unsplash.com