October 2025, NOT Enemies #1

Here’s a basic truth that is often hard, for survivors, to accept: Our bodies are not our enemies. As a supporter, you need to understand why this can happen. A good therapist can explain this concept better than I can, but please try to realize that sometimes—especially when our abuser is close to us, or highly respected by others in the community—it’s hard for a child to believe that an adult has done something so evil to us. So as children we may not see the abuser as our enemy, but in a way we may feel our bodies have let us down and then our bodies become our enemies.

You can help survivors live into this truth by not focusing on our bodies. Please do not tell us what we need to change; don’t tell us to gain or lose weight, to dress or eat or move differently. A lot of pain came to us through our bodies when we were vulnerable children, so that’s very often a sensitive subject. And please try not to touch us suddenly, not to hug unless invited, not to invade our spaces. It’s not that we don’t like you, but there’s been a great deal of trauma connected to other people interacting with our bodies. Very often a simple fist-bump is friendlier than a hug.

You can help us by genuinely respecting us as God’s creation, by offering sincere compliments (not body-related) when appropriate, and by praying for us. Will you join me in a simple prayer that I pray for myself and for other survivors? Dear Lord, please help people everywhere to know that our bodies are not our enemies. Teach us healthy self-respect and affection for ourselves, so that we will nurture and care for our bodies as Your beloved creation. Amen.

Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash