Let survivors know that you’re willing to listen if they need to talk, but never urge them to disclose details of the abuse. Instead, work on remembering good times with the survivor.

Did something funny happen at a church picnic that you can laugh about together? Was there a time when the survivor did a really good job helping out with a church function? Was there a special celebration when the church community came together in love and fellowship? Practice looking back at those times, speaking of happiness and praising God for joyful details, enjoying holy laughter that hurts no one.

This doesn’t mean that we ignore or minimize painful memories. But it does mean that we intentionally make room for the good memories that are just as real as the hard ones, and we look to the good Lord who is with us in all circumstances.

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