You have to…anything (forgive, put behind you, move on…)    

Very often, survivors will resist a firm directive—anything that says you have to, you ought to, you really should… Your suggestion may be completely accurate and very important, but survivors will often push back against someone who is forcefully urging them to do something. At this point in our lives, we generally don’t want anyone telling us what to do. Don’t tell us that we have to move on, we have to forgive, we have to be more flexible.

Words are important, so use your words to help us. If you feel that you must make a suggestion, please consider saying phrases like “You might want to try…” or “Maybe consider….”

Photo by Pete Alexopoulos on Unsplash.com.